Award Winning Towel Tossing

Sometimes I hold off on watching films that the general populace regards as brilliantly done, yesterday I finally sat down and watched "Million Dollar Baby", the Clint Eastwood film about a grizzled trainer who reluctantly takes on a girl to train up as a serious boxer. Hollywood deemed fit to award best director, best actress, best supporting actress and best film academy awards to this work and I thought what the heck, it has to be half decent. Coming from Hollywood, I should have known better. What I ended up watching was a schmaltzy comedy.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

The film culminates in a celebrated defense of euthanasia, where Clint Eastwood's character is seemingly redeemed through rebellion against the church and is martyred for the cause of his trainee Maggie's wish for a "fight out of life, much as she got into it". The result is a twisted and deluded conception about what is valuable in life, who your life belongs to and about truly fighting to win.

My issue is not primarily here with the larger question of euthanasia, I have issues myself with the difference between killing and letting die, and the gnarly question of when to pull the plug is not really my point of contention. What I will talk about certainly leads into an anti-euthanasia stance, the main point of discussion however, regards a Christian attitude about life.

In the film there were some very clear and sad misconceptions about the value of life and what it means to have a quality of life. In my mind, one short monologue pretty much sums up the entire deluded story,

"I can't be like this frankie,not after what I've done, I've seen the world, people chanted my name, hell, not my name, some damn name you gave me, they were chanting for me, I was in magazines, you think i'd ever dream that happen? I was born pounds / ounces, daddy used to tell me i'd fight to get into this world, and i'd fight my way out, that's all i wanna do frankie, i just dont want to fight you to do it,I got what i needed..."

1. Your Life Isn't Yours.

Somewhere in popular culture we derived the myth, probably from champions of metaphysical free-will, secular existentialism, and generally speaking long before then, human pride and arrogance, that we are the champions of our own destiny, that our souls are ours to barter with, that we are the masters of our own domain. The truth is, the human soul is borrowed capital. Everything we own is borrowed. Our bodies are borrowed. Everything we are as human beings is borrowed,

Ezekiel 18:4 reads, "Behold all souls are Mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is Mine. The soul who sins will die."

We have been loaned, and are responsible for, everything...including this planet, of which we are supposed to be stewards. Saying, "I don't want to live any longer" is fine, we all feel like that sometimes. Deciding to destroy yourself because you don't like the deal you have been dealt or more likely dealt yourself, is not an option. It is like a laborer complaining about his backhoe not working properly and summarily firebombing it. He's going to be fired. Literally.

Maggie fought to get into the world, certainly. But hypothetically speaking, God let her into it, and it wouldn't have happened any other way. You're here because somewhere down the line, God wants you here and cares about your existence.

2. Life Isn't About You

It's terribly disturbing and downright offensive to us human beings that as part of our subordinate position to God, that life isn't about us. In fact, contrary to the health and wealth gospel you commonly hear from televangelists, God really isn't primarily interested in your happiness. Happiness is a product of circumstance, God is interested in your joy, which is linked to an eternal satisfaction in Him, in His purity and eternal love. Jesus said "My peace I leave with you" I'm tempted to argue that we leave out the last part, "not as the world gives".

God cares about your dreams, but a great many of them that pass through the minds of the human race, He isn't interested in fulfilling. God isn't interested in your vision for a better world, or how you think you would best be of service, or what you seem to think your best talent in life is, or how perfectly situated you are to do this or that. He is interested in His plan. His is best.

Maggie's character recollects the joy of being famous, of having people "chanting my name" and being known as a great boxer. That's nice. Excel in something, great. But if the source of value in life has no derivative value in God, then it has no value at all. It is meaningless, and passes away like everything else. Nothing really changes. Solomon saw this years ago. (see Ecclesiastes).

Worse still, Maggie's despair over having once been famous resonates with the temptation of Christ from the devil. It was Satan who promised the world to Jesus if he would but worship him. Jesus refused, quoting scripture and saying "You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only." Jesus had his priorities straight, he was headed for eternity, and entirely uninterested in the false glitter of a world passing away in sin. Maggie said "I've seen the world" and despaired because as a paralytic she couldn't see it anymore. Jesus saw the world and pitied it.

The truly tragic aspect of the film is that Swank and Eastwood's characters have found a true father and daughter relationship, that could have continued. Many individuals would long for companionship, even from a person unable to walk or care for themselves, and the joy and life so evident in the relationship they had with each other was thrown aside by the callous request of Maggie to throw it away. It mystifies me as to how someone could script such a film based around the value of human relationships and the need for forgiveness and reconciliation, only to suggest in the end that personal fame and power are really what determine quality of life.

3. Perseverance & Fighting is About Adapting Through Defeat and Adversity

You can hear that Kierkegaardian despair in Maggies' voice at the start of the monologue,

"I can't be like this Frankie, not after what I've done, I've seen the world, people chanted my name"

Ah, yes, the despair of not wanting to be oneself. When we see ourselves with spiritual honesty we see a dead thing, an ugly and powerless creature, paralyzed by sin, and we have a decision to make- to despair and look away, living in ignorance, or to boldly approach Christ in humility and repent. Hilary Swank's character Maggie cannot face what she has become. She cannot accept her paralyzed condition, and opts to terminate her own existence. She claims that she will fight to get out of life: yes she is fighting, but out of despair. Her fight is now against the fight itself because she has given up. Her first words are "I can't"; it is the voice of a quitter, not a champion.

Hence what is supposed to be a heroic-tragic character becomes a comical one. The idiotic contradiction of a relentless prizefighter giving up on life is the only thing that really adds anything unique to the film. It's uniqueness is truly born out of stupidity.

How many people, how many films have we rightly praised as worthy of our admiration because a hero or heroine chose to beat the odds, even after grave setbacks? Is it unchained victory that makes the hero a role model, or is it his perseverance of character?

Imagine Arnold Schwartzenegger, at the prime of his powers, winning a thousand wrestling matches with drooling preschoolers; would this be worthy of celebration? Does he possess a heroic character?

Now what about a young shepherd boy, against the advice of his entire nation, faces a huge armoured giant with nothing more than a sling? That takes character. That is, at least at the level of personal character, heroic.

A hallmark of heroic performance is by dutiful necessity facing odds that are impossible with resolute determination. Human history celebrates and remembers better the defeated who stood with courage. The 300 Spartans at Thermopylae are proof of that.

I am not fooled by Maggie's initial heroic start: a girl, discriminated against and mocked for wanted to pursue her dream. The plot is engineered to at first create sympathy and genuine heroic interest for Maggie. But in the end, she proves a mediocre character, no better than any other man or woman.

It is easy to pursue relentlessly a dream when it is in our own interest, when we have a fantasy that is all about us, when we're all about getting our own way, when the knockouts keep coming with our efforts. But what makes a heroic character is what he or she does when things DONT go his or her way. When the battle goes against you, do you surrender? When you fail a test, do you leave the course? When somebody else beats you, do you quit? When you can't do what you want anymore, do you throw in the towel? When you can't work your way out of it, can you rely on grace? When you don't succeed, do you try again?

God is constantly calling us into situations which challenge our conception of who we think we are, who we think we should be and what we think we should be doing. The Christian believer, when rightly grounded, finds his or her meaning, purpose and joy in doing the will of God. These two facts combined make the Christian an impossible enemy to conquer. Islam, for example may conquer a decadent and godless west, that I can conceive. That Islam, or any other force on earth could conquer Christ or a Christian, that I laugh at.

Conclusion

In prison or in freedom, in a hospital bed or at the gym, on his knees or standing upright, the person grounded in God always has a reason for living, and for living joyfully. The pagan may fight for heroism, the heathen religious may fight for his salvation, but the Christian fights for God for the sheer pleasure of doing so; and I'm fighting to win.

"For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again, But the wicked stumble in time of calamity." Proverbs 24:16

"...Run in such a way that you may win. And everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way as not beating the air; but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified." 1 Cor. 9:24-27

A Communique from Zombieland

Zombieland (2009) is, suffice to say, not a family film; but I was struck by its surprising moral undercurrent. In the last ten years or so, the idea of zombie hordes overrunning the planet has achieved greater cultural interest in North America. The numerous films, varying in budget, have captured the imagination of especially teenagers and twenty somethings. I can't give you any great stats to back up this claim, its just something I've been noticing over the years and I am willing to bet you have too...if you at all have any interest in the horrific idea of undead zombie hordes devouring the living; and not just in film.

In fact, some books have detailed with meticulous interest and disturbing, albeit fictional, hypothetical accuracy, tongue in cheek scenarios for survival ("Zombie Survival Guide") and worldwide catastrophe ("World War Z"). Marvel Comics has released zombie themed issues, and Jane Austen's (1775-1817) Pride and Prejudice (1813) has been parodied in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2009).

I'm not sure about this next claim, but it would seem to me that zombification of the entire world is being given far more careful attention, detail and marketing than the classic 'B' movies of yesteryear. Maybe you horror buffs can correct me if I'm wrong.

Zombie films I have seen have a strong moral (or rather amoral) undertone. A world overrun by zombies is a world that has totally lost its "humanity". Nobody is innocent, nothing is sacred, survival is everything. The moral dilemmas presented by wasting zombies who were formerly family members or those commonly regarded as "the innocent" of society is frequently an issue; (as well as an excuse to create some dramatic tension).

Ironically, the greatest threat to survival comes not from the zombie hordes, but from the fellow living. (SPOILERS AHEAD) George A Romero's Dawn of the Dead (1978) illustrates this by the scavenging gang of thugs which finally dismantle the relative safety and comfort of survivors holed up in a shopping mall. In Zombieland, betrayal is commonplace, though the zombies themselves pose marginal threat themselves to intelligent and sensibly cautious wanderers.

Concurrently, both films contain radical critiques of the stupidity and emptiness of material culture. Woody Harrelson's character craves a Twinkie snack cake but in a world of endless material goods he is willing to smash anything to curb his frustrations. In "Dawn of the Dead" the zombies putter stupidly around the mall doing as they had done as the living. What results is a thinly veiled but powerful critique of consumerism. In a world of survival, the stuff of great worth is utterly devalued and rendered comically meaningless.

The zombie phenomenon is worth great cultural examination: it is a symbol of the current 20th-21st century post-modern wasteland in which we live. It is the nihilism after the great failure of secular existentialism to re-value all values. It's cynicism is the bitter but sober and truthful disbelief of the humanist hucksters who would sell us false bases for our, or nature's supposed intrinsic worth.

The zombie wasteland takes no prisoners. There is no rank, no wealth, no great hero, but simply a tragic-comical waste of human life and existence combined with wanton bloodshed. The shotgun and chainsaw become the weapons of a generation frustrated, bored and only too eager to take up arms to a worthy cause- so long as it is not classified as murder (killing the living).

But zombie films are also about re-discovery - and redemption. In "Zombieland", "28 Days Later" (2002) and "Dawn of the Dead" we see people banding together. In a world that no longer has the blind optimism of modernism, but has seen the ugliness of blind postmodernism, human relationships and the spiritual moral law seem to pop up with new strength. One can bury the dead, but one can't bury what isn't dead. What isn't dead is the human spirit, absolute moral law and the drive to selfless deeds. Where "Columbus" in Zombieland formerly had a personal survival law to "Don't be a hero" he realizes that to save the emo-hot chick and forsake his "World of Warcraft" dominated life, he must adapt and overcome, he must "Be a hero". Where formerly the party knew only cutthroat cold indifference, they learned to band together as family.

No zombie film I know ends with a perfect fairy tale ending, there is one bloody awful mess left in the wake of the metaphorical "disaster" (postmodern death, nuclear annihilation, new world order etc.). This is an ugly world. It is bloody, it is sexually perverse and violating, it is horrific, and full of demonic threats.

The hard but necessary realization? We have done it. The good news? Not even the age of "non-supernatural" zombies (zombies resulting from viruses or some even more ridiculous nonsense than the occult explanation) can eradicate the supernatural order underlying all things.

The message is, don't let yourself be found as the walking dead; in the words made famous by one zombie smasher, "Hail to the King baby."

Bob Ross and Christian Existentialism

Who didn't like relaxing to the sounds of Bob Ross' (1942-1995) soothing voice and seeing the amazing transformation of the canvas with some simple brushstrokes?

After watching some videos there's a few things I've gleaned from Bob Ross as I filter them through my own worldview.

1. We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

Now right away I want to say, we actually DO make "mistakes", and pretty awful ones at that (Romans 6:23), but if you believe that God is ultimately in control of all history and all events (Isaiah 45:7...amongst many others) and that God has a plan for your life which cannot be thwarted and you are open to this, then Bob Ross is absolutely right. In life, as well as paintings, at a metaphysical level, or a divine level, (in God's eyes via Christ) we don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents. (If I might be so blasphemous)

If you make mistakes in life, or on the canvas, don't brood on whats been done. Chances are, you've already learned from it, and better still, its already time to get moving again. You might be surprised what beautiful things can come out of what look on life's canvas to be terrible errors or deviations from "the plan". All things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) God didn't save us so we could beat ourselves up for our lack of holiness, but so that we could share with him the joy of recreating the world in His image.

2. If it makes you happy, do it; and do your best at it, because that is how we make others happy.

Again I can take a bunch of verses out of context and preach some kind of convoluted heretical sermon leading you to moral corruption; but of course what I'm meaning is that the conscience and squawking voices from others can condition our thinking about what we ought to be doing with our lives.

I can't tell you how many times I've read examples of people who have given up everything or taken enormous risks to do what made them happy; and when they did, it made them heroes and benefactors for the rest of humanity and in some cases, great servants of God. This is just general wisdom: don't do something if it makes you miserable. It might sound stupidly simple, but I do not think it a great leap to say that a great many people are miserable in what they do but don't change their job or change their attitudes.

You can waste a lot of time being miserable doing something you hate or doubting something you love. Do what makes you happy, "Lets have a little fun." and do your best at it, and it will make others happy. Don't be ashamed of it. Bob often talked about being who you are when you paint: you have to do the same thing when you live. God made you a beautiful scene. Its your job to present it back to Him on canvas.

3. Beat the Devil out of it!

If you've ever watched Bob Ross paint you'll know that he derives great pleasure from beating the brush after cleaning it in his "odourless thinner". You have to beat the devil out of your paintbrush daily: if you start painting with old colours and the wrong mix, your painting isn't going to look right.

The paintbrush of life? It is the heart. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23

Watch what colours are getting into your brush. The wrong ingredients can choke out the colours you intended.

4. Make big decisions.

It sounded funny when Ross used to say that in his happy little paintings that "we have to make some big decisions here". But this is perhaps the most interesting little effluence from Bob Ross I have ever heard.

There are of course an infinite number of things that one could paint on a canvas. That's scary enough without realizing that one's life is exactly the same conundrum. We don't want to screw it up...so we stop painting. (Or so we think). But you are painting. There's no such thing as not making a choice. You are making a choice: a choice to do something or nothing. Each of these will have consequences. (This is an idea found in existentialism more generally as well)

Make decisions. Sin bravely as Martin Luther said so many years ago. Don't let naysaying prevent you from doing the most outlandish things: so long as you are aware of the consequences, and who you'll have to answer to in the end.

Rejoice young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgement for all these things... (Ecclesiastes 11:9)

While you still have life and breath "whatever your hand finds for you to do, verily do it with all your might..." Whether you like it or not, you're painting your life. You might as well be making big decisions for God rather than letting the world, flesh and devil make them for you.

Lastly: 5. Everybody needs a (happy little) friend.

Don't try to do life on your own. You don't have to have a lot of friends, you just need a few good ones. "A man of many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)

Conclusion

Bob Ross was in the air force for many years, and you might be surprised to learn that his soothing voice, according to Ross's wikipedia article, was once used to ream out air force personnel. You can read the short bio yourself from the link. I can't tell you if Bob Ross was a committed Christian or what he viewed as his happy little accidents in life. I can tell you this much however, that Bob Ross lived for the joy of painting. What or who am I living for, and what am I doing about it?

"God bless my friend, and goodbye for now."

Taking a Chance on a Crutch

"I've read your book and you have some serious character flaws."  Perhaps you've heard this kind of thing before.

Externalization happens when somebody refuses to take words to heart. It is a defense mechanism, indicative of cowardice (perhaps resulting from wounding); a mind that cannot accept correction because it is afraid it will break. That mind has already made an idol of itself: that it cannot rely on any Other but itself. But of course, we need each other.

So when the words come that must be internalized, in advanced cases a thickened membrane has formed over the brain that bounces back the message in the form of an attack on the source, the idea and/or blame laying of the problem to anywhere but self. (N.B. :This too can work in reverse in the "I am to blame because I secretly think that I should be able to do it all" paradigm)

The inward message is also likely to cause offense, because hey, how dare you even suggest that I am wrong? I'm wise after all. I know what's really causing the problem: its you, and that other guy, my boss, my spouse, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my church, my in laws, my family, my dog, and the bad latte I had this morning.

There are added complications of course. When we unreflectively start blaming other sources for our problems there are inevitable contradictions in our speech. In fact, it starts out as incongruities in our stories, but ends up being externally what it is internally: lying. If we lie to ourselves we will inevitably lie to others simply to avoid the conclusion that there's something wrong with us.

The incongruities I refer to are those things which we blame as the source of ills or possible ills. It is very easy to blame circumstances or states of affairs as the source of problems or failures. For example, one could say that it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Therefore, being rich equals trouble. This kind of thinking will lead one into trouble, because lacking riches, it could be argued sensibly, leads to stealing, marital breakup and other social vices, which also may in turn cost you your soul. In this case of course, I'm not advocating that we all become communists but I am saying that the source of the vice is not actually in the state of affairs, but in humanity itself. (Sorry communism, humanism)

The well adjusted person, perhaps the wise person we might say, is not the one who avoids every manner of circumstance that suggests trouble, but rather is well informed about what pressures situations can bring to bear upon his or her own faulty humanity. This is why proverbs can be antithetical; worldly wisdom is on a hinge, difficult situations swing upon a personality. The person who avoids every circumstance of danger (There is a lion in the street!) we would call a coward or a sluggard. The person who charges into every circumstance of danger we would call a fool. (I'm feeling like Aristotle right now)

Many will call this the virtue of the mean (or whatever those Greeks called it). But we could also call this mediocrity, and beyond that, what exactly determines when to be mean and when not to? (I like being mean. Whats wrong with that?)

Bringing around the discussion back to the unreflective person, you'll easily see now how these various do's and don'ts actually end up being a prison for many people. They not only cower in a self made cage of mediocrity, but they also make statements to different people at different times saying wildly different things. At first they are just incongruities, but if a person wisens up at all to the ludicrous swings of the self-hinge, eventually he will start lying to avoid admitting that he is the gatekeeper.

Now here's the point to really catch I think. In order to venture out into situations that endanger any normal human being in any number of ways (like motherhood, marriage, military or star trek conventions) you must have what the externalizing person does not: internal strength from reliance on an Other. The ability to venture out into danger corresponds to one's concept of personal security. For some people it is sheer delusion, "This will never happen to me" or "love conquers all" or "I have the speed and skills with nunchucks of Chuck Norris", but for everyone it comes down to what one trusts in to keep oneself safe.

There are a whole host of things that can make you feel assured of success, and just as there are many sensible things to avoid, there are many sensible things to remedy the ills. There's just one problem: sensible things aren't eternal things. They are quite literally not eternal because they are just that...sense-able.

I want to suggest, not so subtly, that you don't have to be afraid of anything or anybody if you have a personal eternal crutch. Personally, I am not ashamed to admit that I am so lame I stumble and fall like a drunken manatee when I attempt to walk on my own. I am ashamed however, when I walk out the door without the Crutch, believing I have healed myself.

It's okay though. After I clean up the blood, I remember that after I have suffered the disaster of death, I'll never be lame again.